


Please Don't Leave

by jumble_of_fandoms



Series: 30 Ficlet Prompts [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Human-Cas, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-MOC, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-21 02:25:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4811402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jumble_of_fandoms/pseuds/jumble_of_fandoms
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is dealing with the truth of what he did while under the influence of the Mark of Cain. Cas is there to pick up the broken hunter.</p><p>3/30 Ficlet Prompt Challenge</p>
            </blockquote>





	Please Don't Leave

"Please, don’t leave." Dean whispers, sitting on the edge of his bed. He is looking down at his own hands, clasped together in front on him. “I-I just n-need you here right n-now…” His breathing is rough and ragged, coming in gasps.

Cas stands in the doorway to his bedroom, hand on the frame as he registers what Dean is asking of him. He turns back and takes in Dean’s appearance again, trying to push down the anger and frustration he feels welling up inside of him.

“I’m s-sorry,” Dean stutters. “I shouldn’t have pus-shed you away like t-that. Please c-come back…”

Cas sighs softly as he watches the broken man in front of him break even farther. Stepping around the empty whiskey bottles in front of the bedroom door, Cas walks back over to Dean. Standing in front of him, he wraps his arms around his shoulders and head, pulling his face against his chest. Dean gasps, wrapping his arms around to Cas’s back, grabbing the shirt in his fists. Cas threads the fingers of one of his hands through Dean’s hair and starts to stroke, trying to calm him down.

Dean’s breathing continues to come in harsh, jagged breaths and Cas starts to grow even more concerned. He vaguely remembers Sam mentioning “panic attacks” at one time and tries to recall exactly what they are. Irregular breathing and conflicting emotions, especially ones of self-doubt, are at the top of the list of things he can remember, so he pulls away slightly from Dean. Dean tries to hold Cas in place until he realizes that Cas is crawling into the bed, pulling Dean with him.

He lies back against the pillows, back supported by the headboard, and pulls Dean up against him. Dean settles himself between Cas’s legs, his back pressed up against Cas’s chest. As soon as he is settled, Cas wraps his arms around Dean’s chest, holding him tightly. He takes deep, calming breaths, hoping Dean will follow his example.

Instead, Dean starts to ramble, only furthering his panic. “What am I supposed to do now, Cas? Just forget about all of those people I killed? How am I just supposed to move on from that? I mean sure, the Mark is gone, but now you’re human because of that and I have so m-much blood on m-my hands. H-how am I ju-just supposed-d to move on-n from t-tha-”

Cas scoots the both of them down the bed, shocking Dean enough that he is able to stop rambling. When Cas is finally done situating them, Dean’s head is lying on Cas’s chest, an arm thrown across Cas’s belly. Cas has his arms wrapped around Dean still, holding him tight, anchoring him.

He doesn’t start on about how he doesn’t blame Dean. Doesn’t say that he isn’t a horrible person for not killing people. Doesn’t say any of the things him and Sam had been trying to explain for months now.

“Did you know that a cat’s penis is sharply barbed? Or that a hippo’s milk is pink and that they sweat blood to control their body temperature?” He whispers.

Line after line of silly facts poor from Cas’s mouth as he holds Dean tightly, staring at the ceiling. Dean tries to interrupt at first, but soon starts to just listen. His breathing finally slows down, taking on a more regular pattern, and he is finally able to let go of the emotions he has been feeling.

Cas talks for what feels like hours before Dean’s breathing takes on a different pattern. He moves his head enough, giving him a clear line of sight at Dean’s face, and he watches him sleep. A smile tugs at his lips as Dean starts to snore lightly. He reaches and places a soft kiss on Dean’s forehead, lips lingering before he pulls away and starts to run his head through Dean’s hair.

“You will always be my hunter…” he whispers. He grabs a blanket from the empty side of the bed, pulling it over both of them. “And I have forgiven you time and time again… Hopefully one day, you will be able to do the same for yourself.”

Dean stirs slightly in his sleep, his hand moving to rest over Cas’s heart.

Cas smiles in earnest before settling in to take a long needed good night’s sleep. Closing his eyes, he sighs deeply, content.

“I could never leave you…”


End file.
